Post by Jay Be on Dec 1, 2015 13:03:29 GMT
There is a really good book from a german author that talks about Mental Self-Sabotage called MindFuck (LINK) by Dr. Petra Bock. I really recommend you to have a look on it.
But here I will tell you about my own experience and how I deal with it. Please take a Cold beer or a warm cup of tee, play a relaxing music on the background and enjoy it.
I Haven't found many topics on this subject so far o the internet that were relevant for me, and a good friend of mine from Brazil once asked me to write about it, I hope it help others as well. MSS (Mental Self-Sabotage) is basically that voice in your mind telling you that it will never work. You see that beautiful girl on the other side of the room and think: I am going there, but then comes this voice in your mind telling you: "she has a boyfriend", "She wont like you", "You smells bad", "You are not good looking enough for her" and so on, in the end of 10 seconds you already found 10 different excuses to not open that set.
That is the biggest problem, finding the perfect excuse for not doing that thing that you want to do, and you don't do it. You don't talk to her and lose the opportunity. MSS is completely different of Approach Anxiety (AA) but usually they work together to protect you from the dangers of an social interaction that COULD go wrong. AA is a feeling that takes over you inside of your chest, you feel it inside of you, nervous, an anxiety that does not let you act on the right moment (NOW). This one I am almost totally over it, only really high value sets make me feel that again. I passed over it like a wrecking ball. MSS and AA are working together to bring you down my friend and if we want to get over it we need to get over it.
Right now you asking yourself, "all right boss, I already understand MSS and AA, but so what, how can I get it our of me?". I have good and bad news, the bad is that you will never be free of it, Barack Obama probably feels it when he meets his wife's grandparents, Vladimir Putin feels it when he needs to hunt those big bad Bears without a shirt. The good news are that the medication is quite simple, the 3 Sec Rules (Mystery is always talking about this rule all the time. Click HERE for his video about it). Do not give yourself time to sabotage yourself, with time this get easier and easier. If we go out together, and I tell you: "Dude there is a 3 set behind you, open it!" Don't wait me to say anything else, your turn around and say the first thing that comes to your mind:
"Hi, I love tomato juice in cold mornings
" Have a smile on your face and a good Body Language and it doesn't matter what you say.
They will answer: "What?"
and you say: "I don't know why I said that, I just thought you were adorable and needed to talk to you. Hi, my name is Jay Be"
From here you can go anywhere, doesn't matter if she is going to hit you on the face of go to bed with you. You are not in control of everything, Maybe her dog just died with a overdose of tomato juice, maybe she loves tomato juice in the morning. Who cares? Your only obligation is with yourself, is to be in control of body and mind. That is the result you are looking for. Later we will talk about keeping a conversation, escalating and etc.
You must believe that you are a badass mother fucker, The MAN (O Cara in Portuguese). There is no one better than you in this world, it does not matter, as a friend of mine aways say, you are the protagonist in this shit, the player one, the main character in this shit you call life, everybody else are spectators, players 2, 3 or 4. Everything that happens around you is in function of you being there, that beautiful woman is over there just to meet you, and if she does not want to meet you is because she didn't understand her role and she does't know that you are the best thing that will ever happen in her life. There is no discussion about it, if you believe in yourself, everyone around you will as well, if you doubt of yourself, everyone will as well.
I hope this post helps you guys, any questions or comments, I will be happy to answer and give feedbacks.
and don't forget to enjoy it
With love
Jay Be
But here I will tell you about my own experience and how I deal with it. Please take a Cold beer or a warm cup of tee, play a relaxing music on the background and enjoy it.
I Haven't found many topics on this subject so far o the internet that were relevant for me, and a good friend of mine from Brazil once asked me to write about it, I hope it help others as well. MSS (Mental Self-Sabotage) is basically that voice in your mind telling you that it will never work. You see that beautiful girl on the other side of the room and think: I am going there, but then comes this voice in your mind telling you: "she has a boyfriend", "She wont like you", "You smells bad", "You are not good looking enough for her" and so on, in the end of 10 seconds you already found 10 different excuses to not open that set.
That is the biggest problem, finding the perfect excuse for not doing that thing that you want to do, and you don't do it. You don't talk to her and lose the opportunity. MSS is completely different of Approach Anxiety (AA) but usually they work together to protect you from the dangers of an social interaction that COULD go wrong. AA is a feeling that takes over you inside of your chest, you feel it inside of you, nervous, an anxiety that does not let you act on the right moment (NOW). This one I am almost totally over it, only really high value sets make me feel that again. I passed over it like a wrecking ball. MSS and AA are working together to bring you down my friend and if we want to get over it we need to get over it.
Right now you asking yourself, "all right boss, I already understand MSS and AA, but so what, how can I get it our of me?". I have good and bad news, the bad is that you will never be free of it, Barack Obama probably feels it when he meets his wife's grandparents, Vladimir Putin feels it when he needs to hunt those big bad Bears without a shirt. The good news are that the medication is quite simple, the 3 Sec Rules (Mystery is always talking about this rule all the time. Click HERE for his video about it). Do not give yourself time to sabotage yourself, with time this get easier and easier. If we go out together, and I tell you: "Dude there is a 3 set behind you, open it!" Don't wait me to say anything else, your turn around and say the first thing that comes to your mind:
"Hi, I love tomato juice in cold mornings
" Have a smile on your face and a good Body Language and it doesn't matter what you say. They will answer: "What?"
and you say: "I don't know why I said that, I just thought you were adorable and needed to talk to you. Hi, my name is Jay Be"
From here you can go anywhere, doesn't matter if she is going to hit you on the face of go to bed with you. You are not in control of everything, Maybe her dog just died with a overdose of tomato juice, maybe she loves tomato juice in the morning. Who cares? Your only obligation is with yourself, is to be in control of body and mind. That is the result you are looking for. Later we will talk about keeping a conversation, escalating and etc.
You must believe that you are a badass mother fucker, The MAN (O Cara in Portuguese). There is no one better than you in this world, it does not matter, as a friend of mine aways say, you are the protagonist in this shit, the player one, the main character in this shit you call life, everybody else are spectators, players 2, 3 or 4. Everything that happens around you is in function of you being there, that beautiful woman is over there just to meet you, and if she does not want to meet you is because she didn't understand her role and she does't know that you are the best thing that will ever happen in her life. There is no discussion about it, if you believe in yourself, everyone around you will as well, if you doubt of yourself, everyone will as well.
I hope this post helps you guys, any questions or comments, I will be happy to answer and give feedbacks.
and don't forget to enjoy it
With love
Jay Be